Sweet Lainie's Open Book

Healthy choices

2010-02-01T22:22:00.005-05:00

Starting to realize that these wonderful bodies God gave us are a lot of work! Mine has been on vacation for quite some time. (I blame Europe, with all of its delicious wine, cheese and bread!)But vacation is long over and no one but me, is going to take care of me! I started sessions with my trainer tonight, to try to pick up where we left off before I went drinking my way through Greece and Italy! Working out with a PT is a lifestyle choice for sure, its one that I love, because they are your backbone and your support for making healthy choices, eating well, and excercising to achieve your personal goal!
If only there was someone like that who would manage my bank account!! This is a tough time of year, and most people around me are feelin the stress of not having enough money to go around. I am up to my flippin eye balls in bills. But just like your body, no one will take care of your money cept you! I need to stop pretending like money grows on trees and start saving like a responsible adult!
So those are two areas of my life that I am actively taking control of, which will hopefully bleed into other areas of my life that I am not entirely satisifed with but have been too complacent to act on.... Here's to making healthy choices.

peace and love

Sorry Im Not Available Right now.

2010-01-20T19:42:00.005-05:00

That is phrase I would like to use more often, in response to the many demands I have of my time from 9am to 5pm. I was never stressed out about work before and now I am always stressed out. No bueno! I can't let the work week get to me anymore its just a job!
So im taking a break, chillin out, and doing the most dreadful of all household chores...laundry. Its the worst, and because my laundry basket is so big, its a shit load of dirty clothes, pardon me. The guy doing laundry with me in the apartment reeks of liquor and cigarrettes and keeps trying to initiate awkward laundry room chat. No, gracias.

peace

Abandoned but not forgotten!!

2010-01-17T23:33:00.003-05:00

I kept thinking, wow I should write a blog, its been a minute. But I always found something else to do! And for that I apologize. My mom decided she was going to start a blog for an amazing project, which I won't put on blast just yet, and maybe thats what re-kindled my blogging spark!
For me, blogging is so selfish because it is my theraphy, my self help tool! Writing and re-reading what I have wrote totally motivates me into action, simultaneously increasing my mental health! It may sound crazy but its just totally soothing for my soul!
I have recently started learning Spanish through an amazing program called Rosetta Stone. It really is fantastic and makes learning fun and easy. I have an affinity for languages and have been interested in Spanish for a few years. Its such a beautiful language and I could sit and listen to it for hours. When I returned from a vacation in the Dominican Republic in '08 I was convinced I wanted to move there, live on a beach, and learn Spanish. My mother was not thrilled with the idea, but I still think it would be fab. For now, Rosetta Stone will have to do :)
Check it out http://www.rosettastone.ca
Thanks Jose :)

Peace and love

Ciao! European Observations...

2009-07-08T10:40:00.003-04:00

Observations from Italy>
1. Italians actually USE such phrases as: "Capesh?" And "Mamma Mia!" And "Ciao Bella!" I have heard every phrase at least twice a day
2. European women bring an extra bikini to the beach, now at first sight this may seem high maintence, an outfit change at the beach? But no! Its practical, after a dip in the ocean the women change into bikini number 2 so they dont sit in a soggy bathing suit and bathing suit number 1 is dry before they leave the beach! Brilliant
3. Mosquitos love me in Italy!! I am getting eaten alive I have bites all over my body, had no idea there would be so many mosquitos!
4. Instead of whistling at women, European men make a "ssss" noise, its apparently a sleazier version of "Hey Baby" or a whistle, creepy

Ciao ciao!

Life is all about the journey!

2009-07-02T14:58:00.004-04:00

YO!
My travels have commenced, and so far= fabulous! Ive been travelling for 11 days. (feels like longer for some reason) 1st stop was Athens Greece. Unfortunately my hostel was in a pretty shady area, but have no fear, Canadian boys were there! We ventured to the beach on the coast of Athens together and had a great time. Sun, sand, and henieken? It was lovely, tasted some delicious souvlaki. The next day I took a walking tour, a 6 hour walking tour! And saw alllll of Athens and learned all about its history, pretty cool. On the tour I met an Argentinian girl who was also planning on hitting the islands next so we decided to go together so after 3 days in Athens I headed to Mykonos. We got on the ferry and were promptly told our seats were in the first class lounge! BALLIN! It was nice because it was quite a long ride. We got bombarded by people who want you to stay at their hotel/hostel when we got off the ferry which was really annoying. We picked, "Paradise" on Paradise Beach. It was a pretty cool place until we saw our "beach cabin", BARF. it was a shack with 2 cots thrown in and mosquitos everywhere. So we upgraded for a hefty fee and belingering decided we would only spend one night. The next day we headed for Santorini and met 2 beautiful, amazing, wonderful, hilarious (I liked them, can you tell?) Chillean girls. We tagged up with them and headed to a hotel called Pension George. Now that place was paradise!! 4 beds, a kitchen, bathroom, access to private pool, and beautiful location. I adored it there. We rented ATVs and scooters and saw the whole island in 4 days, visitng a new beach everday. Then yesterday it was back to Athens for one night so I could catch my flight out of the Athens airport to Rome for noon. While I was getting on the bus to the airport I caught this chick pretending to be a tourist pickpocket a man in front of me! She stuck her hand right in his front pocket and pulled out his big wallet. So I yelled HEY what the fuck are you doing! HEY excuse me she just stole your wallet!! The girl gave me the evil eye and said SHHH- Ya right, like im going to let you get away with that. But unfortunately the man didnt even react and the chick went about looking at her map with a confused look, tricky bitch, and the bus rolled away. The man and his family didnt even seem fazed, so I guess they are loaded and dont mind?
I flew Alitalia into Rome, it was short and sweet, and here I am. Tomorrow I plan on seeing the Vatican City and attending mass, it promises to be a moving experience- I hope this update with satisfy my hungry blog readers! (I only know of one, love ya Abria!)
So now, a few observations about Greece and the Greek:
1. Feta cheese really is everywhere, and Greek salads are the bomb, I think I had 15
2.The Greek people use their phones to double as music players, no ipods, and surprisingly no Blackberries!! (i only saw a few business ppl using blackberries at the areoporto)
3.Greek women are violent with their children. For instance, I witnessed this one chick slappin her super cute daughter around on the Tram.
4. Greek people randomly break into making the sign of the cross repeatedly...really not sure of the reason behind this one.

Peace and LOVE, from Italy :)

Ps. Thanks!

2009-06-21T23:27:00.002-04:00

Thank you to everyone who has let me borrow something for this trip!
Sabrina, thanks for the sweet ass bag I will be hauling around Europe and the purse that will hopefully keep my valubles safe from harm!
Emma, thanks for the cute mini size backpack and awesome neck pillow that will have me sleeping like a baby on the plane!
Yvette, thanks for the comfy capris that I pretty much stole and forced you to be ok with! You rock.
Ian, thanks for the book I'll be reading. err ya the one you lent me, Im bringing it! Thanks!
Dad, thanks for the swiss army knife. I know its your pride and joy and hopefully I will make good use of it (at the very least, the corkscrew!).
Mama, thank you for lending me Granddaddy's rosary. I know it means a lot to you, and I will remember that my grandparents are always with me, and will pay special homage to both him and Granny when visiting the Vatican City.

Myself and all bags are decked out with Canadian flags so nooooo one could confuse me for those other North Americans!
Thank you everyone,
Love Lainie

Leaving on a jet plane!

2009-06-21T22:58:00.003-04:00

It is 31 degrees in Athens!
I have a long day of travelling tomorrow, 16 hours in total with connections. Lots of time to read, and sit, and think! Maybe tomorrow it will seem real!
I already made my first travel faux pas... I realized I booked my hostel a day too early because I didn't take into consideration that my 11 hour flight= the next day arrival in Greece. Oops, so I had to call the hostel and change it. The dude seemed totally unfazed and was like "cool, as long as you get here! Its no problem". Wicked. I've said good bye to (most of) my friends and family and have heard every travel tip people have to offer. Some Im sure are going to be very helpful, and others have solidifed my decision to travel alone! I'm tired of explaining my story of why Im travelling alone, and responding to "are you crazy!", I hope when I meet other travellers they will have different questions to ask. Just kidding, it hasn't been that bad, most of my people are super proud of me! I think my trip is going to be the bomb, because for one, I really have no expectations. I am ready to go with the flow, see the world, and truly experience. I have butterflies in my stomach and am so excited to get on that plane!
I will try to blog whenever I can and share pictures... See you in Greece!
OPA!

peace and love kids, wish me luck ;)

Ryerson Spring Convocation 09

2009-06-19T01:08:00.003-04:00

Thats right. Congratulations me! I know a BA doesn't get you much in the world these days, but I worked hard and am proud. Thanks to all my family and friends who are proud of me as well. I needed a lot of support over these 5 and a half years and I am grateful to everyone who played a role. Especially to my mother and father, I will continue to try and make you proud!

Surprise!

2009-06-10T00:46:00.006-04:00

Surprise! With only 14 days left before I leave on my 4 month adventure, my girls threw me a surprise party! I was so shocked I walked away and starting crying! I’ve never been surprised before, and I appreciate all the lying these girls had to do to make it happen! They love me this much...

We were supposed to be going out to dinner but Anita said she thought she had busted her treadmill at her condo gym so we needed to pop by and take a look??? Haha ok, sure Anita. It was such a great time, lots of food and drinks, and of course flip cup!!!

With now only 12 days left before I leave, this trip is all I can think about. I find myself making lists about what I need and what I will do, when what I should be doing is working! At the top of my list tomorrow is to purchase a handheld camcorder! So I can record all of my fabulous adventures and stories to share and make lasting memories! I have been saying for a while now that I want to be on, or to have my own, reality show, and what better way than to make it happen myself! Ah if only it were that easy, but I still think it’ll be super cool. One of my dear co-workers bought me a sweet journal and I will definitely be writing in it along the way so that I can remember all of the little things many travellers wish they could bring to mind.
Its 33 degrees in Athens right now. Wooooey Im gonna sweat, I cannot wait. Meanwhile back to reality, Im watching Season 3 of The Wire right now. Fully addicted. And reading “Do You!” by Russell Simmons, truly an inspirational man, and so far the book is dope- down to earth and meaningful.
I graduate in 6 days, and just got my OSAP payments deferred for another 6 months. Phew! Life is good!!

Peace and love

Life changing

2009-05-29T16:05:00.002-04:00

When I go home tonight, after being stuck inside the pub on this flippin gorgeous day, there will be no one there but me. No one else's things there but mine! My roomates have moved out...I just know its going to be eerie. But thankfully there is a bottle of wine in the fridge to help ease the pain! I am sure everyone knows as well as I do how much packing blows...so much work!
I am really looking forward to the next three weeks in Toronto before I leave. I have a lot of things to do, and am going to try to squeeze as much time in with my friends in between working my ass off! I have an awesome girls night planned and hopefully I will be able to hit some clubs as well.
I had a bit of a panic attack last night while I was packing, thinking "what am I doing?". Am I seriously packing up my life and leaving everyone I love for the unknown? And then my friend snapped me out of it as I realized, its so time for change!
Wish me luck with packing and moving :)

Its a small world after all

2009-05-28T14:35:00.002-04:00

One of the flight attendants on my west jet flight to St.Johns was also the attendant on my return flight. 2 days ago I was standing at St.George station and she walks by in all her west jet garb and lil rollie suitcase! How small of a world is it?

Ps. Twitter is taking me away from blogging. I never thought it would happen but it has! I don't even know if anyone pays attention to what im twitting about but then ago, who even reads this!?
lol

Packing my life up and moving my shiz to my 'rents basement...not fun. June 1st I am officially a vagabond... just some updates for ya

PEACE & LOVE

What women deserve

2009-05-19T09:14:00.004-04:00

Since the beginning of time women have called men: assholes, scum bags, dirt balls, jerks, game players and bastards. While I do not disagree that some men do fit the bill of these names, what I would like to take issue with is why women LET men get away with acting like that?
We have all heard stories where a woman who has been treated like dirt by the man she is with (cheated on, neglected, disrespected, stole from etc etc) but the female still "takes him back", usually time and time again. I have a friend who has been messin with a guy for 3 years. During those 3 years he has straight up told her that he does not want a girlfriend and that he is sleeping with other women, but that he loves my friend. So you can imagine her confusion, however, countless times she's caught him in lies, caught him with other women, and suffered under his harsh cristicm (he often called her crazy). But she just kept taking him back. Why would he know to act any differently if you keep showing him that he gets countless chances with you even after hurting you and treating you like gum he stepped on?? So finally, my friend had enough. She got the key to her apartment back, changed her phone number and cut him out of her life, for good. Or so I thought. Ughhhh don't women know that they deserve a good man? One that loves them, wants them, treats them with kindess and dignity. Please for the sake of all good men and women out there, do not let men get away with acting like this. You have no one to blame but yourself if you keep returning to the same shit!
If you are in a situation like my friend, give your head a shake and realize that there is someone better out there and you will find him! We have all been stuck in bad relationships, but there comes a point where you have to break loose so that you can grow and learn.
My darling friend, please grow and learn!!!

peace and love kids

East Coast

2009-05-18T10:27:00.002-04:00

Whats up? Its been the longest hiatus from blog writing so far. My mom reminded me yesterday that I haven't wrote one in a longg time, and I didn't think she was a frequent reader, so that tells me Im majorly slacking. But I mean, give a girl a break... Im on vacation!
A vacation to the east coast...but a vacation no less. Chillin with my sis in St. Johns. It has been so lovely here. I believe I brought the sunshine from Tdot over here. Yesterday I spent the afternoon sitting on my aunt's back porch, soakin up the sun, readin a good book, and sippin on cocktails. This long weekend has felt super long, but Im not complaining the weekend could go on forever and I wouldn't mind.
Hoping to catch some Victoria Day fireworks tonight.
The east coast is "back home" to my mom's side of the family and being here conjures up memories and images of my late Granny (whom passed away on Mother's Day 2 years ago, RIP). Just thinking of how happy she would be if she could see us all here together is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Its important to come together with your family and make memories that can be passed down. There is no group of women more fun than my mother, sister, and aunts. We laughed so hard last night our faces and stomachs were aching!

Cheers to the East Coast...you know that song "I been gone for a week, I been drunk since I left..." its a Newfie classic and, well...its totally true!

peace & love
-promise to post pics soon, asap.

Hump day....

2009-05-06T23:38:00.003-04:00

I like Wednesday’s. They are aight! I’ve been having a very positive week and am gaining energy from it! I am taking the time to stop, and realize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that I have, and thank God. I had a small panic attack Sunday thinking about my upcoming trip, and financial situation. But through some re-inforcement, and encouragement I conceded that this trip means the world to me and I will not let anything stand in my way. I was told life is too short to focus on money, and realized I needed to see past $$$. My God, you have no idea how excited I am to travel. I can feel the anticipation throughout my entire body.

Its definitely a life changing time...a time when people use that dumb phrase “the end of a chapter, but the beginning of a new one in my book of life...” Or some cheesy shit like that! My roommates and I are “breaking up”. All leaving our apartment and going our own ways. One, to another province! Its pretty freaky to sit down and realize I have shared my every waking moment with these 2 girls and next month we won’t see each other at all! I wish both of them the best of luck in their relationships, and I wish nothing but happiness for them.
(When your view disappears...its time to move)

Today I was asked to be in my best friend’s wedding! This girl and I have been involved in a three way love affair since high school. Kailey and Rachel were my two best friends in the world, and we have kept a strong bond through the years, picking up right where we left off when meeting up. Kailey is now living in the UK and Rachel is a nurse with a home and a fiancé! I am so honoured to have been chosen to be part of Rachel and Andrew’s wedding! Very thrilled. Congrats guys. You are truly an amazing couple. I can’t wait to give a toast!

47 days till I depart to Athens Greece and the adventure of my life. Holy shit where did the time go. Next thing I know I am going to be blogging about the fabulous beaches in the South of France! ....Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins!
Peacccccccccccccce

oh ya, blonde is back

Doubles

2009-04-30T14:12:00.004-04:00

If your first drink at a restaurant is a double, and the waitress asks if you'd like another (and another). She will keep bringing you doubles. This is more of a note to myself than anything else. Because after 5 double margaritas last night this day is proving a little hard to get through! Too much tequila at Tortilla Flats...good times though. Im thinking of not drinking until I go to Newfoundland on the 15th....because that is gonna be one solid week of drinkin with my Newfy fam! Can't wait to see my lil sis and get my tattoo worked on!
Cheers!

peace & love

Positively Hilarious

2009-04-28T14:44:00.002-04:00

This video is way too funny I just had to share. Unfortunately the you tube user has embedding disabled so all I can do is post the link, but trust me, you will NOT be disappointed!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ

...and this next one, had me almost falling off my couch. Kids are f'n hilarious.

peace and love

Thank You

2009-04-28T00:46:00.004-04:00

Thanks for being great friends. Thanks for laughing with me and blessing me with your friendship. I truly appreciate you.

[Pics]Over the past few weeks...

peaceeeeeee

Sun is shining!

2009-04-25T10:58:00.002-04:00

I am so glad this week is over. It was rough. But the sun is shining I can feel the warmth, I can't be anything but happy right now. There is nothing quite like a beautiful day to lift your spirits. Im about to go make a delicious breakfast, start my day right, hit the gym and get my butt to work. I will probably be cut in no time because of the gorgeousness that is this day, and the fact that we have noooo patio. I say 8pm I'll be done, then what should I do?
Have a lovely dayyy
Peace and Love

Sensitivity

2009-04-22T23:23:00.003-04:00

For as long as I can remember I've been told, "You are too sensitive!". Personally, I have always thought that sensitivity was more of a positive trait then a negative one, as others would have me believe. But the past couple days have made me question that. I wish things didn't affect me on such a deep, personal level, but, they do and I am recently having trouble dealing with that.

Is there a way to lessen your level of sensitivity? Could someone train me to be more resistant to emotion? I don't know, I think Im stuck this way forever. But you know what they say...admitting it is half the battle?

Jokes.

Alaina you are sensitive. period.

Peace & Love

(the positive emotions!)

The Wire

2009-04-19T22:50:00.002-04:00

HBO series on dvd is possibly one of the best things in life (Sex and the City, Entourage,The Sopranos, etc). My friend lent me season 1 and 2 of "The Wire", and Im hooked! Im only up to episode 6 but definately a fan. Its been a great way to spend this lazy Sunday. I wish Monday morning didn't have to come. I am so very tired today since I got home from work at 5am and the birds were chirping! Sigh, another weekend gone by. It was pretty tame, and who knows what this week holds! Im trying to live in the moment so that the days don't pass by too quickly, but I am excited that in 4 weeks I get to see my lil sista! And along with that comes a visit to my tattoo artist for a free touch up and im hoping to get more ink added!
I am going to prop my eyelids open and watch a few more episodes....
Peace & Love

I LOVE SPRING!

2009-04-17T14:21:00.005-04:00

Shouting it from the rooftops! I love the sun. I love the warm breeze. I love flowy tops and flip flops! So glad I have tonight off. Its a celebration bitches! Yay Abria is done college now she can join me in all of lifes glory...even though we both probably have more school ahead of us. But hush lets not speak of that now! Congrats Abria, you did a fabulous job showin ol' George Brown who's boss. Let's drink beer, wear pretty tops, and take lots of pictures!

...Swings! Love em in SPRING!

Too personal?

2009-04-14T22:35:00.002-04:00

I was wondering today if I was making my blogs too personal. But I arrived at the fact that I don't write this blog for others, and/or their opinions. I write it for myself. Whenever Im feeling anything, writing it down helps, and being able to come back to what I've written and reflect on it, is the best therapy for me. I only know a handful of people who read this anyways, and Im not looking for your attention or sympathy...however, if you do read, and enjoy, then thats fantastic.

Im reading again...I kinda slacked off for a few weeks, but im back into the books. I love emersing myself in a story. Its better than t.v. In fact, a really good book has me so enthralled I feel like when I close it and put it down, the story is going to continue and I'll miss it! I have 3 books beside my bed that I absolutely must read before I leave. I wonder if I will be able to read while Im travelling? Books take up a lot of room...maybe I'll just pick one up in each different place. But will I have time!?

Im making a conscious effort to make this week a focused week on myself and my goals. Making sure I get to the gym at least 4 times in spite of work, eating healthy in spite of work, and researching and planning my upcoming euro trip. Here's to a positive week!

Peace & Love

Head-Wrecker

2009-04-13T22:54:00.003-04:00

I have a lot of pent up anger... and it is all directed towards men. I don't understand why men seem to need to totally fuck with my head. I suppose its because I let them....I need to meet a good guy soon before I totally lose all faith in men, cause tonight I am on the verge of that loss. I just feel like screaming. And punching something...a punching bag that represents all the dudes that have messed with my head, my feelings and my heart. You all suck.

Weekend Restaurant Review

2009-04-05T14:26:00.001-04:00

1. Trios Bistro: the restuarant/lounge in the Marriott hotel @ Bay/Dundas. I met my parents for cocktails there before dinner. The bartender made the most delicious cosmo I have ever tasted. Service was excellent and the bistro is totally classy with a modern design edge. The super high ceilings let in so much natural light, its gorgeous. Loved it, it was my second time there and I'd definately go back. The hotel is newly renovated and a really nice spot for guests visiting Toronto.

2. Jamie Kennedy Wine Bar: 8 Church St....across from the Keg. It was different. The restuarant is pretty small. Its tapas style eating with a large selection of wines and several options of how to drink it. You can order several 3 oz (half) glasses of wine to pair with the different dishes on the menu or just to pick which one you like best. Very cool. The food however...was pretentious and not delicious. It was ok. Definately an experience. Iron chef, Jamie Kennedy was actually cooking and shook our hands on the way out. Pretty cool. But if you like delicious food, I don't recommend it.

3. Church St. Keg: always awesome, friendly staff, moderate prices and a good atmosphere. Dungeness Crab starts Monday!! The most delicious crab you will EVER have!

4. Le Petit Dejeuner: King St. E, a tiny breakfast spot that we had to line up for! It was worth the wait, and if you grab Starbucks coffee to help you wait in peace, like we did, time flies. Staff was super cool, great service and totally yummy brunch. The fresh squeezed orange juice was magical and cured my hangover with one glass....ok maybe not cured, but definately helps!

and that is my weekend review. Next, roomie and I would definately like to try out Panorama, its like the 51st floor of the Manulife Centre at Bay and Bloor. It boasts "Toronto's best view and highest patios"

Peace & Love

Psst....yo!

2009-03-31T03:49:00.002-04:00

Hook me up with a BlackBerry (BOLD)....quick! Or i'll hurt you...you remember what my guns look like! :P

Bring me a different dream

2009-03-29T23:39:00.004-04:00

My dreams never cease to amaze me. The other night I dreamt I met Chris Bosh and took the subway with him... then secondly I dreamt about him. A man I need to make an effort to not think about too often pops into my sub-conscious. How am I suppsed to forget about someone who I still see in my dreams! My friends were in my dreams too, saying "noooo Alaina", but just like in real life, I didn't listen. I don't want to dream about him anymore though, he doesn't want to be in my life so I wish my mind would give it a rest and send me different dreams.

Today started off on an extreme sad note, I learned of a deep loss for one of my friends and spent the greater part of the day praying for them. I was reminded today how precious life is and how I need to appreciate my family and friends every minute of every day. I hope happy and positive things start occuring for the people in my life who've been struggling. The homily at today's mass really spoke about the current state of things for many people, "bankruptcy": it is a reality with today's economy. But we should be reminded that our relationship with God will never be a state of bankruptcy, because even if you are not fulfilling your side of the bargain, God will never turn his back on you. Im glad I received this message today, because in the face of tragedy and sadness I need to be reminded that there is still much more to life and love, and faith will carry you through :)

Peace & love

Realization

2009-03-28T09:43:00.001-04:00

I was broken, crushed, and feeling like I had no worth.
‘Cause you see, I thought I was in love
And you betrayed me.
Not only did you not want my love- you gave yours away.
But now, now that’s in the past, and even though I thought my heart would never heal,
Thought it would harden, stay lonely.
Its stronger now.
And only real love gets through to me.
Now you want back, back in my life
But I gotta let you know, my tryin time with you has made me wiser and set me free
‘Cause don’t you see?
I wasn’t in love, just caught up in thoughts of you, with me.
Now take a minute, just a moment.
Realize.
You mean nothing to me

Random Tunes

2009-03-27T02:11:00.006-04:00

So, I take a lot of late night taxi's...I work 3 doubles a week and as such, am usually coming home past midnight. In my hood yo, its just not safe to take the subway home. The sketchy walk down my street is no joke...I don't really believe anything truly bad could happen to me buttt, its better to be safe than sorry. So "cabbie, (waiting right outside our establishment's door), you are my ride home." The cabbies must assume that everyone who leaves our doors is either shit faced, or staff. Because, There truly is no in between. (Yet sometimes you can assume both statuses)...anyhow, the cabbie's always have the most RANDOM radio stations on. Granted its 1:30am Thursday evening, but seriously, Jazz Talk on am?? Really? Its just so completely random and unexpected. To tell you the truth, it makes me uncomfortable. Hello. My name is Alaina, and I HATE TALK RADIO.

Tix to the gun show?

2009-03-24T22:06:00.011-04:00

After a few drinks I believe I have the biggest muscles ever...

haha gettin there.

I've been pretty ill the last few days, and I am ready to feel better. Although my body and brain truly appreciate the rest I've been allowing it, I feel lazy and useless...two things I hate. So come on body, cooperate with me and at 8am tomorrow when my alarm goes off, feel fabulous. Please?

Its probably going to take a miracle because tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and dreary and by nature I hate those days (My sign is a Leo= cat, hates getting wet, therefore hates the rain).

And now, the weekend in review:

VIP

2009-03-24T20:59:00.004-04:00

Sunday. Raps vs. Clippers... we won thankfully.

Ghetto Goldilocks

2009-03-20T14:51:00.002-04:00

Im officially back to my former blonde self. Will post a pic soon, probably after this weekends events. I survived St. Paddys... workin a double tonight, then tomorrow my dear friend Rachel is comin up for a day and night out and about in TDot. Can't wait, we have so much fun together but its a very rare occurence since we are both leading such busy lives and living (somewhat) far apart. Then Sunday I have bought into a VIP box at the ACC for the Raps game...a whole day of drinking amongst fun people, basketball and free food...doesn't get much better than that.
Today is coming up roses on all accounts, I got my week vaca approved in May as well as a replacement for my job when I go to Europe, and a guarantee that I will have it when I return!
Bring it on weekend!
PeacE and Love Kids

PS. Congrats to Abria on officially becoming a motorist! lol now only if I would get my liscence back!!

Lost N' Found

2009-03-16T22:30:00.003-04:00

Someone, you left these glasses on a table at our pub. We found them...they are now Sabrina's. Thanks, she enjoys them very much!

Thank you RyeHigh

2009-03-16T21:16:00.002-04:00

Ryerson was insisting that I take this 1st year course when I transferred in 3rd year from Carleton U to RyeHigh... it was to teach you how to study and do well in University...you can see why that would be redundant to a third year. So I have been putting off the process of challenging the credit (a process which includes filling out a form, a fee of 175, an exam and or an essay). Well today I checked my school account and Ryerson has granted me the challenge credit without me having to go through any of the hoopla. I know they changed the curriculum, so maybe they decided it would be ridiculous for me to take a substitute of a course that would be of no use to me anyways...regardless I now have filled all the requirements for graduation in June. Alaina D. Teeuwsen, B.A Criminology and Criminal Justice, with a minor in Psychology (which won't appear on my diploma, but thats a whole other rant)
PEACE!

And So it Begins...

2009-03-15T09:31:00.003-04:00

The maddness of Paddy's day began on Friday. I worked an 18 hour shift, and from 4pm-2am the pub was packed, I had to elbow drunken Irish out of the way, scream EXCUSE ME at the top of my lungs, when what I really felt like yelling was "Fuckin Move your ass now"....I did call a guy an idiot, but he deserved it. He knocked a half full pint glass off the table and then kicked the glass...not cool. Got beer spilled on me. Cut several people off, and made very little money. Yep smells like St. Paddy's to me!

This morning I am taking the time to mentally center myself, enjoying the sun, about to eat a good breakfast, and get in a good work out, before I submerse myself in more drunken Irish foolery....The St. Patrick's Day parade is today. We are usually closed on Sundays....but not this holy day!!

Wish me luck!

Psst...

2009-03-12T20:08:00.003-04:00

Im goin to Athens, Greece to start my Euro tour, June 22nd!

Booked my flight last night, returning in October. 5 months abroad going to places Ive always dreamed of visiting, as well as an old fav...Holland of course (if ya ain't Dutch ya ain't much, ya heard!)

Its so exciting that I am finally taking this trip I have always planned to take. Got a great deal on my flights. So T Dot, lets enjoy the time we have left together :) I'll miss you, but I shall be back...a happier woman!

I can't believe tomorrow is friday already. I don't get a weekend like I normally do, due to the pub being open Sunday for after the St.Paddy's Day parade. I don't mind though, it'll be fun, its a short day, and I'll make some cash-ola. Saturday, being my only off day, is a total all-about-me day, planning a pedicure, an intense work-out, and evening mass. Mind, body and soul.

Peace and Love, get ready Europe, 101 days

Daylight "savings" time

2009-03-09T23:54:00.003-04:00

Fall back is awesome...spring ahead, not so cool. Sure it stays lighter out, and that is great in the long run because everyone loves those long summer days and evenings. But spring ahead, you truly f with my head and sleeping pattern. I blame you for feeling ill. You better make it up to me with extra sunny evenings right through the season. I really need to be rested for the next 8 days... St Paddy's day at an irish pub is definately a week long event, and Im gonna need all the energy I can muster to work all the extra hours.

Wish me luck, I'll miss you bed.

PeacE

More than just a pretty face...

2009-03-05T22:19:00.003-05:00

My co-workers and I have been talking about writing a book. The Customer's guide to eating/drinking @ our pub... I'll give you a sneak preview
1. Do NOT hold up 3 fingers when you are greeted at the door to signal you want a table for 3. I am not a fucking mime, I speak English and would prefer you to say "Hello, a table for 3 please"...much better

2. Along the sign language lines...If you'd like another beverage, don't point to your half empty pint glass and expect someone to know exactly what you want. Use your fucking voice and say please. Thanks

3. When asked "Would you like something to drink?" please do not keep me standing there for 5 minutes mulling over what you feel like, I have a million other things to do and you have had from the time you decided to come to our pub to the time you sat down at the table, to make your decision. If you don't know, just say "not sure yet!" And I'll come back!!!

4. Listen closely when I read the specials. I will not repeat myself 5 times...actually I will because its my job but I will become bitchier with each recital.

5. Make eye contact. I am a person, not a drone.

6. If you EVER plan on returning to our establishment, leave a good tip. A GOOD TIP 15% people, and its not just adding up the tax anymore. We will remember your face.

There are soooo many more, which is why a book needs to be written, but take these tidbits of advice as my gift to you. And use them wisely. Servers never get the credit we deserve. I am an intelligent woman who deserves your respect and enjoys her job, but if you are rude...please fuck off, because there is only so much I can take!!

Peace and love yo.
St. Patty's is comin up, print this shit out and keep it in your pocket if you need to!

Necessary

2009-03-02T20:39:00.003-05:00

This blog post is apparently necessary cause I am slackin big time!

But Im busy and tired and don't much feel like typing. So Im takin the lazy way out and posting some pics :) Pics that show what Im working towards/want...

This is me taking a lil nap round X'mas in my 'rents comfy chair...I miss taking naps

My lil sis Cait and I. Im tryin to get to see her in May, out in St. John NFLD

Money...What Im tryin to make right now!

Blonde...what Im tryin to get back to. Got some highlights the other day

I used to have super-fabulous nails...But its a recession and we all gotta make sacrifices!

PeacE & LovE

Wondering...

2009-02-24T23:36:00.002-05:00

This evening a thought occured to me. What if when I woke up tomorrow morning I was the same girl living a totally different life? Im wondering if the path I am on right now is the one God intended for me, or if somewhere so far , along the way I made a wrong turn. I've come to learn that leading a good life is all about creating and fostering loving and caring relationships with the people that are in your life. I already know that I have made some mistakes. But how do I repair what has been damaged from those mistakes? How do I grow and not make the same mistake twice, three times? I don't know what has me thinkin these thoughts, but it has me trippin...

RIP George Koutroubis

2009-02-23T19:14:00.003-05:00

Ok, I dropped my phone in a toilet...it was before any business happened. But its awful...I can't afford another phone right now, so its sitting in rice while I pray for it to dry out and work!
I thought the weeks went by quickly, but the weekends go even faster! This one was pretty good. Yesterday I had the pleasure of sitting in the lower bowl to watch the Raps kick some NewYork ass. It was pretty great. But a note to anyone, myself included, do not start drinking at 11am with no end in sight, it doesn't make Monday any prettier.

Today I want to send my deepest sympathies to the Koutroubis' family and friends, especially George's wife. I am so sorry for your loss and it is absolutely awful that George's life had to be cut short so brutally. May God's strength be with his family as they can finally and appropriately grieve. George went missing last Tuesday, and his body was just found today. Whoever did this, God will surely see that justice is served. I knew George through the owners of my restuarant, he was a nice, hard working man, he will truly be missed.
Its a scary world out there, seeing this happen on my own doorstep so-to-speak, is hair raising and troubling. Be safe people, tomorrow is not guaranteed.

PeacE & LovE

Emotions

2009-02-20T02:43:00.002-05:00

Its funny how some people go their whole lives denying their emotions. Or refusing to feel, or maybe just filling their lives up with so much other stuff they forget they even have emotions.
Not I. I am a wealth of emotions. And today I believe I felt every range of feeling there is to be felt! I started off the day pretty good, mornings at work are awesome when I get to eat my oatmeal, drink delicious coffee, and get down to business with my ipod playing in the background (emotions= satisfied, happy, jammin'). All it takes is some snarky person's attitude to bring me down, and the next minute I am so irritated I could slap a bitch, and then the downward spiral begins. When someone else has a negative attitude around me, it truly brings me down, Im sensitive like that. Today, I got the brunt of someones mad mood and it made me cry but in less than an hour I had to pull it back together and put a smile on my face. Then I realized I can't change how other people act around me, and I may only be able to change how I act to a certain extent, but as long as I know in the end whats important and what emotion I want to exude I can gain control over a negative situation.
Even with the rollercoaster of a ride my emotions provide me with, I wouldn't change it for the world. For all its worth, I would rather have my heart broken 100 times, and cry a million then not let myself feel anything at all

Truly: Peace & Love

Phoenix on Letterman

2009-02-17T14:41:00.005-05:00

Ok what the hell. I've watched the youtube video twice I still don't know if its real or not! Joaquin is messed up something fierce! Is he on somethin or is it staged? I heard Casey Affleck is following him around with a video camera to capture his alleged "rap career" and also would his manager/agent let him appear on a talk show like that?!

Two Holidays, One long weekend

2009-02-16T20:32:00.007-05:00

I love long weekends!

I'd like to thank the creators of "Family Day", February 16th, for making a long weekend in the middle of February for absolutely no reason. Awesome. Friday after working a 12 hour day I decided to have a few drinks at my pub, why not. Then I thought since I have been working at this Irish pub for 2 years, a pub which boasts the best pint of Guinness in Toronto, that I should finally try a pint. So I had my first, and second, and third pint of Guinness. I liked it. But Im telling you right now, never ever again will I have another. Does not agree with me. 'Nuff said!

Saturday, with fresh ingredients from the (crazy & hectic) St.Lawerence Market, my roomate and I created a romantic and delicious dinner and dessert in celebration of v-day. The desert I made was called Strawberries Romanoff, and was possibly the best thing Ive ever put to my lips! Found the recipe in last months LCBO Food&Drink magazine.

That, combined with chillin in my scented candle-lit living room, is more than enough romance for me!

PeacE & LovE

That guy's worked hard from birth...let him hit the bong

2009-02-12T00:08:00.003-05:00

LOL what the dude from Jay and Silent Bob said about Michael Phelps!! Come on, kinda true. Lets stop being prudes and thinking important and famous people don't smoke pot. Everyone does, rich, famous, poor, middle-class, male, female...everyone, do a survey. So why do we hold celebrities so accountable for their "misdeeds"? Because they reveal the secret to our younger generation in public? (Even though they are certainly learning about it from their peers, whether you believe it or not)...
Shout outs to tha Raptors tonight for winning a clutch game. And props to Scotty B and Ty for letting me be their guest for the game :) It was awesome! And to Will Solomons...I saw you watching me watching you at the Keg after the game. I shoulda talked to you when I had the chance...Lets go out sometime?!
LOL Damnit I should have talked to him, he was damn fine in person....even though you got alllll bench time tonight, I still got love

PeacE & LovE

Omar Khadr

2009-02-10T14:13:00.003-05:00

This is my plea to Stephen Harper and anyone else who will listen! BRING OMAR KHADR home to Canada! He is the last prisoner remaining in Guantanamo Bay and Harper refuses to bring him back home to Canada. He was only 15 when he went to Iraq and has been a POW at Gitmo for years, he is now a man, 21 years old I believe. Harper has got all his info twisted and instead of moving ahead with the plan President Obama has proposed, he is sitting doing nothing. At a time when huge changes can be made, a time to right the wrongs that have been committed against many innocent people whom were imprisoned in Gitmo, our PM is doing nothing.
HARPER DO SOMETHING!!
Read the article in today's paper at http://www.thestar.com/SpecialSections/article/585026

Don't be like Harper and do nothing, think, speak, be heard, be active!!
Peace and love kids

Hangin

2009-02-09T19:32:00.006-05:00

I am not impressed with how this week started off. Swollen eyes, bumpin headache, the worst hangover of my life...and emotionally bruised. Not impressed at all Monday. I am fighting to keep my eyes open right now because I don't think it would be natural to go to bed at 7:30 since I came home from work and slept from 3-5:30....yep that rough of a day. I almost ran to the subway when my boss told me I could go home early. He feels my pain cause he was hungover as shit too, it was pretty funny for a while. I think we laughed for a solid 2 hours, at absolutely everything, including my inability to count our deposit and his lack of memory for any of the events that took place. Brain was still liquored up I think.
I have a lot of hurt and anger inside me right now and Im trying to think of the most constructive way of disposing of it. Cause I'll be damed if I let it break me. Sunday during the morning and afternoon was the most peaceful and constructive part of my day, I went to church, a place that I am always humbled by upon walking into, and I worked out. Took care of mind, body, and soul. But I wish I could go back in time and change what happened in the evening around. However, I cannot so I am just going to resolve to put it behind me and move ahead as the best person I know how to be...starting tomorrow morning.

Mostly Bus Related

2009-02-04T20:30:00.005-05:00

My day started with drama. Bus drama. I caught the bus laaaast minute, just in time, and I step on to see the reg driver, a pretty awesome lady who always makes sure I get on, being screamed at (im talking top of the lungs) by this other chick standing right at the front of the bus. She was yelling at her because the driver apparently made some comment about her needing to hurry up to show her pass and the chick flipped right out. She was threatening to get her fired, then she picked up her phone, still standing right next to the driver, and called 2 people and loudly explained the situation. What the heck is that gonna do? I was just sittin there with this funny look on my face thinkin to myself, "Re-fuckin-lax"!!! There is no need to go off on the lady that makes sure you get to work everyday. Take it down a couple notches lady, its 9am!

Then while at work, I heard about the Best Crime Ever!! This man was arrested for giving a Greyhound bus driver a brownie...laced with the chronic!! Haha imagine the driver's suprise
as he starts to realize he just ate a pot brownie, absolutely priceless. And the guy who did it, why? Who knows, but I love it. Now he's gonna go to jail, way to go!

Lastly, (excuse my language) FUCK YOU TSN 2!!! I wanted to go to the Raps vs. Lakers game but tix were sold out and it is wayyyy too cold to be standin outside tryna get a good price from a scalper. So I figured, no big deal, I'll chillax on my couch and watch it. WRONG. My dream crushed again because moth$%^&F$^&*#g TSN2 had it on. Where did this channel come from and why did Rogers allow it the rights to so many freakin games? Thanks for ruining my night TSN, thanks a lot.

but remember, peace & loveeee

What makes a person who they are?

2009-02-02T21:22:00.003-05:00

This man, who panhandles at the Queen subway station, on the north side, smokes crack in the stairwell that leads to the elevators for my gym. I have seen with my own eyes, him smoke crack out of a pipe, and not even look up as I pass. Today, I told on that man. LOL You cannot smoke in the subway, any type of substance, if you are going to smoke illegal and highly addictive drugs at least have the small amount of sense to hide! It makes me sad and angry at the same time. I don't give anyone asking for money anymore because whats the point? Im not going to give you my hard earned dollars to support your habit. If they actually wanted help I'd be there to offer, but most of them just want to be left the fuck alone to smoke their drugs. Sad.

What makes you who you are in life? Is it the person you appear to be, what you do, how you talk and walk? Or is it the person you are aspiring to be? Hoping and trying to grow into every day? I think I know what makes me who I am. Do you?

Time flies!

2009-02-02T01:19:00.008-05:00

Holy crap time is flying by. I literally cannot believe the rate at which the weeks are going by. Its scaring me a little. I never asked time to go by quickly! I enjoy my life and don't want to blink and have 6 months of it behind me! Turns out: Working 45 hours a week, working out 3 times a week, with socializing in between makes days fall off the calender.

Had a great weekend in Goderich, a small town in Huron County with my (fab) roomate and family.

Wicked Willy's, Goderich

...My beautiful nails however didn't make it back with me. Maybe it was a sign that I needed to get more country and brush my city off...but the nail beds need a rest for now. (Yes I could write an ENTIRE blog about my nails, I fuckin love them ok. Ok)

So its Sunday night with Monday morning creeping near, my wish is for the week to go by nicely with me enjoying it every step of the way :)

Had a dream about kissing this man...a friend of mine, last night. It was fun, since no man is making out with me in reality! And then this afternoon, glistening in sweat at the ACC I saw Dwight Howard and thought "He could love me, he just doesn't know it yet". Oh wait, maybe that was part of the dream.... ;)

peace and love

january 26

2009-01-26T00:38:00.006-05:00

Exactly two years ago today I wrote something. I was thinking about it tonight without even realizing the coincidence of dates till I pulled the file up on my computer and it was dated January 26th, 2007. That was a pretty exciting time in my life but it also shows me I still have some growing to do. I will get there :)

january 26/07

Its like the same old story, everytime I see you my heart skips a beat
You leave me feeling so light on my feet
But there is nothing same and old about this
Its so new and exctitng
My whole body interlocks with yours
if I didn’t have to I wouldn’t let go
But I’ve learned when you let go, and it comes back
That’s how you know
To hear you’ve missed me puts a smile on my face
Bliss is what results after we embrace

Anyways enough of this trying to write a poem. I just want to put into words the state of bliss I feel when I am in his arms. Its bitter sweet when you have to go. When I’m left by myself I can dwell on just how right it is and I still have the scent of you to fill me with memories. When you squeeze me its like telling me how you feel without any words. And I know when I see you again no matter when it is our embrace will be just as intense
I hope it stays this way, you are an amazing man. Im so excited and happy to have you in my life. We have so much we can teach to each other, so many things in common and so many beautiful differences.

Sittin up in my room!

2009-01-26T00:19:00.004-05:00

Yessss I am a fool singin in my room, clownin around and I taped it.

Laugh, don't laugh...whatever! You should let me love you (I was a sucker for Mario once):

(I think I miss my red hair)

Make-out session gets me down

2009-01-25T23:34:00.005-05:00

It was an uncool situation and I told him how it is. LOL

Tell me no. I say yes, I was chosen! And I will deliver the explosion!

2009-01-19T23:41:00.003-05:00

I might be slow on the uptake. I heard about this chick a while ago but never really checked her out.
Now...obsessed.

I get so...

2009-01-19T23:01:00.004-05:00

Im sure other people have felt this way before, but today I feel alone. There are people around me and I know there are people who care about me, but I can't shake the lonliness that's set in. Its hard to be, what feels like, the only single girl left! I guess its just a "feeling sorry for myself" day, because as I walked down my street tonight and looked up to see pure white flakes falling, I wished that there was someone walking beside me, holding my hand, enjoying the sight as much as I was. But I push those thoughts out of my head, as I often have to do, and bring myself back to thinking about all the things that I do have in my life, instead of the things I don't. Im glad I have been so busy lately, otherwise these lonely feelings would have more air-time.
Sigh, lackin positivity.
Janet says it pretty well.

I love Pinapples

2009-01-12T18:46:00.002-05:00

Pinapple Express is the funniest fuckin movie ever.
that is all

peace and love

Whoa!

2009-01-08T23:17:00.004-05:00

This week is flying by. Working 6 days this week and workin on my fitness everyday. Im finding out how amazingly exercise and eating healthy can really change your life. Its definately something I want to and am motivated to keep up.
On a less positive note, Ive realized that there are certain people in my life who frustrate me, for a plethora of reasons, on a daily basis. So why are they in my life? Its not a matter of patience or understanding on my end, its the games and unnecessary shit emanating from the person on the other end. I know I don't have time for bullshit. So, you're cut.
Working 9-5 (give or take) means I am taking the subway at peak hours. It is the test to see if I am in a super good mood orrrr Not! People are rude man, we all got to get to work quick, but wait your damn turn, touch me at your own risk, push me and I'll cus you ...thats right, outloud, to your face, on the subway...In the most polite way of course. Today this lady was elbowing me to get me out of the way as the train was slowing to stop at Bloor. I looked right at her and said "We're all getting out here so there is no need for you to push". Problem solved, she stopped pushing. I think I say outloud what most people are thinkin on the subway but don't have the guts or maybe don't have the need to say something. I always speak my mind, provide my 2 cents. Thats ok if you don't agree but Im gonna say my opinion.
...Take yesterday at the grocery store for example. Abria and I were calmly bagging our few items into recyclable bags while this guy next to us struggled with about 20 no frills bags. I mean really struggling. He didn't have enough fingers to grip all the bags and was crouched down on the floor. No Frills has a huge bin of cardboard boxes that you can put your groceries in, so I offered "you should use a box". The dude was so startled when he looked up and realized I was talkin to him, so I said "it'll be easier", as his gaze shifted to the pile of boxes, Im pretty sure he realized how right I was. Abria though it was pretty funny, one because I talk to random strangers all the time, and 2 because lately I've been offering advice to any stranger who may need it! Why not? People walk around this city like they are in their own little bubble. No eye contact or smiles exchanged with anyone who passes you on the street, like if you don't look at anyone maybe you could keep on believing you are the only one who matters. Snap out of it. This city is beautiful. And granted there are a lot of crazy disturbed people, there are also a lot of decent cool people that you walk past, stand next to in the elevator, or sit near in the subway.
Why not embrace that? I will, it makes for some damn good stories!

peace and love

Gettin' Right...

2009-01-05T00:37:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you have to force yourself to engage in things that are important to you.
God has blessed me with a beautiful life and in return I should at least take an hour out of every week to give Him praise and centre myself. I've always thought this, but since moving to Toronto and being out of touch with my home parish I haven't attended mass here (Not an excuse, as my parents would scold). Ive found myself searching for something to keep me centered as my life goes through this transition phase, and as I sat in Our Lady of Lourdes beautiful church today I realized God had been trying to find me all along.
If I get my goals, my spirit and my body right, true happiness will surely find me... Here's hoping!!

peace and love

AHHHH (thats a scream)

2008-12-31T13:38:00.004-05:00

I told you if one more person asked me if I have a man I would scream. Well I didn't do it in their face but im doing it now! AHhhhh. My pedicurist asks if im spending NYE with my boyfriend. My reply is of course "Nope! Don't have a boyfriend, spending it with friends!" And she says "No I don't think you don't have boyfriend, you too beautiful" (Vietnamese accent) "Well thank you dear, but its true, so believe it" LoL. Oh boy
Then the woman who does my nails, proceeds to tell me that her friend got the shit beaten out of her by her husband, with a broom over the head, and needed 5 staples. She says this is quite acceptable in her country and culture but knows that it is bad news bears here in Canada. She was talking and laughin about it so frankly, it kinda freaked me out, I didn't really know what to say, other than "oh no", "thats awful" and "I hope she's ok". So she tells me he was arrested but is already out on bail, they go to court soon but the wife won't testify because she doesn't want to lose her husband. Yep, the one that beat her bloody with a broom. Yep thats the one! Go friggen figure. Awful. So my morning was quite interesting because she proceeded to tell me some family secrets of hers...scandalous. My lessons all revolve around Vietnamese culture today. You learn something new every day!! Nails look damn good tho

Brushin off negativity

2008-12-30T23:08:00.006-05:00

So I got a lil job offer today. Pretty sweet. Except Im tellin my girl and all she is replyin with is negative talk and comments. Aren't you supposed to be supportive of you friends? I said to her, hey Im happy about this stop bringin me down. And it was like she didn't even realize she was being negative. I guess everyone's lifestyles and routines reveal a little bit about them. I like to have structure in my life. Thats what school always did for me. So now I need to find it in other areas as I carve out a new life for myself. Saving money for Europe is the main goal. Im at a point in my life where I know exactly what I want and how I will get there, so if you have any type of negativity or drama to bring to the table, Im simply brushin you off.

New Years Eve is tomorrow and with it will come talk of resolutions. Well this is mine, Keep on doin what I've been doin! Its as simple as that, I am happy with my life and would like to stay on that path. I worked hard all year to get where Im am so its best to resolve to keep on, keepin on!

I'll be poppin champagne here tomorrow evening"

Hope its a good time.

Happy New Years :)

The holidays are wearin me thin

2008-12-29T14:23:00.003-05:00

I think Im tired of being hungover in the mornings this holiday season...oh well, just a few more days to go, then my liver can rest.
I feel like I am trying to make the people around me care more about me then they actually do...Weird feeling I know. It seems like everyone is just out to protect their own interests and don't even consider others. I know that if you don't look out for yourself then most times no one will, but I always care about others around me. My family has always had my back, and they think so highly of me...why can't others feel that way! lol And if one more person asks me if I am dating someone or if I have a boyfriend I think I am going to scream. NO! No I don't ok, and there is nothing wrong with me. Everyone I have encountered over the holidays, even people that I talk to on a regular basis, have been asking me. Is it so far fetched to imagine that I don't have a male in my life? I feel pressure to not be single, which really sucks, its not always fun being alone, but it is way uncool to have everyone around inquiring why infact you are single. I have no idea.

...monday rant. I need to get my lazy ass to the gym.
peace and love (if I put it out enough, it will come back to me)

Back to TDot

2008-12-28T19:15:00.002-05:00

Just got back from St. Catharines. The bus ride is usually painless, takes bout an hour...except today because of the insane winds, the Burlington Skyway was closed and the ride took 3 hours!! I hate sitting in a bus stuck in traffic the way it stops and starts makes me wanna be sick but thankfully I had an amazing book to immerse myself in. I felt such a sense of relief once we were on the Gardiner and the Sky Dome (Im against calling it the Rogers Center, booooo) and CN Tower were in sight. I thought to myself, "Damn! I really love this city"

I used to think of my parents house as home and I think it still is in a smaller sense, but Toronto is my real home. Im so much more comfortable here then in suburbia. I keep thinkin now that I'm back, its back to life, back to reality...'cept its not!! I still have 4 more days of vacation which I just found out about on Saturday, sweeeet. (Back to the gym though for sure-->small mental confirmation). Im tryin not to stress about the whole New Years Eve situation, plans for a party at our place fell apart and I have no clue what Im gonna do. I keep having visions of myself home alone (the roomies are away) drinking wine and being sad...But I guess it wouldn't be so bad, minus the sad part, cause NYE is such hype and stress for a night that is usually a moderate disappointment. So im just gonna go with the flow and make sure Im stocked with my favourite wine and munchies if I do end up on my couch!

peace and love

Breathe

2008-12-21T01:35:00.005-05:00

I don't know if I've taken a breath yet this week. It rocks being busy with real life and not school life! But this week exhausted me. Between working doubles, having a few too many" in the middle of the week", and working out with my trainer I forgot to breathe!

Officialy, I am now on vacation for a week! Sweet deal and I am super excited, bus home to the kitter/ St. Kitts tomorrow to stay at the parentals. Dude I love my parent's house, its brand new with the best flat screen TV ever...I could stare at it for hours...plus the couch is fantastic! And my mother is a slammin cook...plus I don't have to pay for much, why wouldn't I love it!? Not too mention my fabulous mother and father, God blessed me with the best parents on the face of the earth...no seriously, they're the shit!

Christmas is going to be super fun this year. My aunt is cooking at her house, there wont be more than 9 of us but its gonna be a rockin good time ;) Can you tell Im excited?

My manager's daughter came into work today, her name is Madeline and she's 7 and she already knows there is *gasp* no Santa! Mady is 7...I was sad, I thought a kid should be older? Although she has a younger brother who is 2 and I remember the best part about knowing was that I could help my parents with hypin up the situation to my lil sis!

Ahh Christmas memories. Happy Holidays yo

Uhhhhh

2008-12-15T19:56:00.002-05:00

Worst hangover ever. Drinking from 430pm to 230am = writing off the entire next day. My stomach keeps rumbling...its very angry with me. I think I'll have some tea and cookies see how that goes over. I don't even have the strength to do my HUGE pile of laundry, ugh. Can I pay someone to do it? Otherwise Im wearing dirty clothes tomorrow.

A good time was had by all

Nineteen Minutes

2008-12-12T12:04:00.002-05:00

I love this freakin book. I can't put it down. Every chapter I find tears welling up in my eyes. A friend lent it to me and now Im goin to buy it for my mom.

Jodi Picoult writes novels about relationships, family and love...and there is a criminal justice aspect which obviously I love.

"Ask a random kid today if she wants to be popular and she'll tell you no, even if the truth is that if she was in a desert dying of thirst and had the choice between a glass of water and instant popularity, she'd probably choose the latter. See, you can't admit to wanting it, because that makes you less cool. To be truly popular, it has to look like something you are, when in reality, its what you make yourself. I wonder is anyone works harder at anything than kids do at being popular. I mean, even air-traffic controllers and the president of the United States take vacations, but look at your average high school student and you'll see someone who's putting in time twenty-four hours a day, for the entire length of the school year. So how do you crack that inner sanctum? Well, here's the catch: its not up to you. What's important is what everyone else thinks of how you dress, what you eat for lunch, what shows you TiVo, what music is on your iPod. I've always sort of wondered, though: If everyone else's opinion is what matters, then do you ever really have one of your own?"

Jodi Picoult

That was an exerpt from in between her chapters, I didn't want to give the story away. Read it!!

Friday already?

2008-12-12T10:48:00.003-05:00

This week damn near flew by! I guess thats life without school!
I had a great day yesterday: worked a lunchtime corporate Christmas party and the organizer threw us a huge chunk of cash for serving it. Thank you Christmas generoisity! So we went Christmas shopping which was wildly successful. Then we went out for a delicious meal and lovely bottle of wine. Much needed time together for myself and Sab. Its funny how a great friend is always a great friend. We see each other every day but we always have something to talk and laugh about. She's a better shopper than I am, she forgets to eat or use the bathroom she's so focused. I am always whining my shoulder hurts from my purse, or my bags are too heavy or Im getting hungry and need a break! We have to compromise.

Oh ya, Im a brunette now, watch out...

Happy Friday yo!

Mirror Image

2008-12-12T10:39:00.005-05:00

Looking in a mirror
I see what I want to see
To deceive is to hurt
But that is all I can be.
Glances over their shoulders
Trying to judge, but all
The while I am just me.
Waiting for a time I will
Get revenge
But really all I want is to be truly
Free.
Looking in a mirror
Looking deep inside of me
Can you see what I see?
Or an image faded from
Before
The former shape of me
Looking in the mirror
Now shattered and torn
Why can’t it be before?
And not looking forlorn.
Looking in a mirror
I want to see me
I see a face, a masquarade
Mask
Who can it really be?
Looking in a mirror
The image distraught and
Distant
Far away I can’t see
If it’s really me.
Looking in a mirror
I see what I want to see
The image will be whatever,
Whatever I want it to be
Only I can set it free.

Late at night...

2008-12-11T02:25:00.003-05:00

...when all my thoughts are still. I think of him. I miss him in my life. I still long for the same things, I turn to the pages of my journal hoping for clarity. Looking back at the notebook I kept reminds me of how much I have already been through and how far I've come. There is something about that man that keeps me hoping, wanting and wishing. My heart refuses to listen to my brain. When I go to bed some nights I feel lonely. I know I am truly blessed and am grateful for my life, but...something is missing. I have so much to give.
I hope that one day he finds me. He's out there somewhere hoping for me too.

What do you do?

2008-12-08T23:37:00.005-05:00

Working out.

Yoga.

Cooking.

Reading novels.

Making time for friends, old and new.

These are all the things I can now do without having to worry about having to study or finish that paper thats due. Now that I am all finished I get to take time for myself. I joined GoodLife and signed up with a personal trainer. Im excited to start living my freakin life! The trainer at Good Life Fitness today asked me if I was a student.

Answer: NOPE. Alaina Diane Teeuwsen B.A bitches...so I started to think ...what am I going to tell people when they asked me what I do? I used to say "Im a crim justice student, and I waitress". Now my "master status" has changed, I suppose I am just a waitress now....except Im not because I am so much more. But don't take that the wrong way. I am proud to be a server it is a tough job and I am damn good at it, its pretty fun too. There are too many negative connotations to "being a waitress" but next time you are eating at a restaurant don't underestimate your friendly server, they aren't dumb people who can't do anything else with their lives. They work hard for their money and they provide people with a service that is in high demand....Serving can earn you a decent living and some people get hooked on the cash. I am using serving as a stepping stone, because it is a skill you can take all over the world with you.

So next time people ask what I do I'll say it proudly. I know what I want to do with my life and there is no question I will have a fulfulling and successful career.

I am on such a positive tip, life is good (not LG, REAL life is good!) So please don't get in my way.

Tomorrow walking down the street you won't see a red head...Ive let my hair define my appearance and the past three years Ive been a redhead. The nicknames I have garnered range from "reddy red", and "redsy", to "strawberry" . Sorry boys and girls its time I gave another colour a chance to shine!!

What the Eff???

2008-12-04T13:05:00.004-05:00

What the eff is goin on with our government? We just elected the man for Christ sake. Canadian politics are so complicated...coup d'etat, like what the hell! So now if the Governor General doesn't shut down the House of Commons the opposition is going to vote non confidence and Harper has to decide whether to let the opposition and coalition leader (Dion who can barely speak English, although Im sure he's a brilliant man) take over or to hold another election

Another election?? Are you freakin kidding me? We have the shittiest voter turn outs NO ONE CARES ANYMORE! Its all secondary to the States and World politics, Canada is gonna become a laughing stock to its own citizens. What a nation to be proud of. Come on Canada get it the fuck together!!!

Ridiculous, im gonna move so I can chill with Obama and watch him change the world

Oh he literally JUST got permission from Gov. General to shut down Parliament

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081204.wparliamentday1204/BNStory/Business

Luda, Lloyd and Dwight

2008-12-04T11:06:00.007-05:00

Im in love.

With Christopher Ludacris Bridges, Lloyd Banks of G-Unit, and Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic.

I want to marry Luda, have Lloyd steady on the side and see Dwight on weekends...they'd all be cool with it because they would do anything for their Lainie... I've loved Luda for years and saw him on Ellen today and fell in love all over again. He's an amazing performer, I love his swagger, its just right. Cause he knows what the girls like: "they like a lil danger and might not admit it but they on for the chase and they want you to come and get it plus they love a young thug overflowin with swag who keeps his woman draped in those Louis Vuitton bags". Hell yes!

Llloyd and me go back a few years to when I saw him perform at the Capital City Music Hall in Ottawa in '04...ah those were the days. And Dwight and I started our love affair last season. That man is the next Shaq, he dominates the court.

Life would be so magical if they all were mine...

What? A girl can dream can't she?

Sigh...

Peace kids, have a good day

(2 down 2 to go)

Tip of the day

2008-12-02T22:48:00.003-05:00

If I am walking down the street (or in the subway) and you happen to step on the back of my fabulous sweater Ugg boots or my special edition AF1's you are walking TOO CLOSE TO ME!! Step off there is lots of room on the sidewalk for me, my fabulous shoes, and you!

I know Im busy with studying and all but can't anyone text me to see how its going? My phone hasn't beeped the delightful sound of a text message in a minute. I guess the person who text me the most no longer does and hence the void...sigh oh well back to studying, Aboriginal issues...

Peace and Love kids

Examination

2008-12-02T11:32:00.003-05:00

First exam is this afternoon at 3pm

My life

So, wish me luck. My 2 roomates both did as they left the house just now for their own exams. We're supportive friends, gotta love 'em.

I hate when I get to the exam room and I hear people in the hallway talking about what they THINK they know...its usually wrong and it fucks with my head. So my plan is to keep my headphones on until the very last minute!! Sociology of Diversity get ready to be conquered

Peaceeee

Sigh. Another 1st of the month...

2008-11-30T22:10:00.008-05:00

I think everyone is feelin the crunch.

Its december, cash flow is short, rent is due, bills need to be paid, and gifts need to be bought!! I definately worry about money but lately Ive been lucky to have a solid job with good hours however, the last few weeks I have been working less and tryin to concentrate on school. Consequence = not ballin'. But everythin will be ok, money always seems to fall in my lap when I need it most. God loves me.

Im on my grind for the next 7 days, head steady in the books. The beginning of the end is Tuesday, my first final exam. woooooooooo. Could not be any happier (ok, if I had a couple hundred more bucks I'd be happier but whatever)

Family at Christmas time is the most important thing...

...and I am (selfishly) hoping that my sister will make it home to celebrate with us. She lives in St. John's Newfoundland, and I've been missin that girl like crazy.

She told me when I moved to Ottawa for University that she realized we were best friends because she missed me, I guess the distance between us showed that we had grown up and stopped all the petty fighting.

And I think now that she's moved away I get to experience the same feeling.

I miss you Cait. Keep your head up and I will see you soon.

Peace and Love

Sweet Lainie

Manic Monday?

2008-11-24T11:09:00.009-05:00

Its grey outside, pretty cold, and its monday....but I feel positive. I left last week's self loathing attitude behind. I had a good weekend, a friday off work, with a short and sweet visit, and a Sunday filled with home cooked food (by yours truly, I'm a domestic diva), tv, and procrastination. I think this week is going to be awesome. Its my last week of school and I am ecstatic, also, Christmas is in the air. Plans for NYE 2009 have been started, and there is a lot to look forward to for the rest of this year and for the year to come!

After class today Im goin to get my nails done (I think I'll throw in a pedi too) which will add to my Monday happiness!

I saw this video on BET this morning and everything about it is hot hot hot. Sean Paul needed Estelle for some new shit I think.

Love it.

Have you ever heard of "Starlight Tours"?

Its a practice in Saskatchewan where the Police take drunk and disorderly, usually, Aboriginals outside of city lines and leave them in the frigid winter weather to freeze. Neil Stonechild, who was 17 at the time, was found frozen to death outside of Saskatoon in 1990. He was picked up for disorderly conduct and was last seen bloody and screaming for help in the backseat of a police cruiser. Its fuckin mind boggling to me that this shit goes on. It gets worse, the police investigated and said no foul play occured...they didn't charge the officers last seen with him or anything. In Feb. 2000, 4!!!! other men were found frozen to death in the same place. Hello, someone do something! Again, no charges placed. But finally after prolonged pressure from Stonechild's mother's lawyer, someone finally did something. A Commission of Inquiry was formed in 2003 to invesitgate his death and all related events. Recommendations were made, like trying to encourage more Aboriginals to get into the Police Service, establishing a review board to deal with complaints against the police service (so that they aren't doing it themselves, and just covering up shit for one another) and suggesting that police candidates taken anger management and dispute resolution training....

(Check it out yourself) http://www.stonechildinquiry.ca/

Is that good enough? Well that's what my final paper is on. If you have any comments let me know.

I don't think its good enough at all, police should NOT, absolutely NOT, be permitted or excused to abuse their power so flagrantly. Its disgusting. Stonechild's mother believes so as well and sued the Saskatoon PD for $30 million!!!

Think about that next time you're havin a bad day!

People Watching...

2008-11-23T16:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday on my way to work I passed the barber shop that I pass 3 or 4 times a day on my way to the subway. The barber was standing in the doorway (I know he's the barber from observation on my many trips past, and I am an excellent people watcher), I looked at him as I passed and he said "Looking beautiful today, as always". It made me smile because he obviously notices me walk by everyday...could be creepy, but it made my night. Maybe because I am so observant and constantly watching people, in the subway, at work, in class, and just walkin down the street, that I appreciated his observation!

The subway is often the highlight of my day (sometimes it is the opposite, shittiest part of my day, if I have to take it between 8:30 and 10 am!!) but there is no other atmosphere in which you can so closely observe such a diverse range of complete strangers! Sometimes I find myself just staring at people's shoes...its interesting! And then I realize others are all looking down and I wonder if they are in a daze or if they are checking out my fabulous footwear. Sigh, I love watching people.

We made brownies, and I cannot resist the smell wafting in my direction any longer!

Peace!!

I need some inspiration

2008-11-20T22:47:00.007-05:00

"It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves."

Francois De La Rochefoucauld

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."

Charles Dickens

"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."

Leon J. Suenes

"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes."
St. Clement of Alexandra

I took the day for myself. Chilled, nursed my swollen eyes. And thought about whats important to me and what I need to get the fuck over. And tonight I looked in the mirror and I thought to myself, "Its time for a change"... I'm gonna reinvent myself (once again) and totally change my hair. (Its gonna be a suprise though, shhh)

Whenever I need to recharge I always turn to music. It can totally change or intensify your mood depending on what you want it to do.

Speaking of good music, check out my homeboy (and love of my life)

PDollaz, he's the shit ;)

http://www.myspace.com/PSUNN

It may not mean nothin to y'all...

2008-11-19T14:21:00.008-05:00

But understand, nothin's been done for me....

It has finally hit me that all my hard work, my 5 1/2 years in 2 different schools, a broken foot, lost friends, lost love, several different apartments...has paid off. I will be finishing my undergraduate degree in less than 3 weeks. I will have a Bachelors Degree in Criminology, with a minor in psychology. Shiieeeeet. I can barely flippin believe it. All of my energy has been directed on finishing this degree. It may not be the coolest, or most important life, but its been mine. I went through some hard shit these last 5 1/2 years and I am truly proud of myself for persevering, for never giving up, and gettin 'er done. Miss independent!

These years have made me who I am today. And I am beyond excited that I finally can say I did it, and move on, to my next accomplishment. In June I am going to Europe for 6 months, to travel, alone. Its always been what I wanted to do after finishing school. I can't say that I have always wanted to go alone. But I think its the best thing for me. Focus on myself, get to know myself, discover whats truly important to me, plan my next moves....my life. Im pumped...and a little scared. But I think in some way the fears fuel me...its going to be great. And I will continue to live by the words that I learned through the rough experiences the 5 1/2 years in university taught me... "Everything happens for a reason"

On another tip, have you ever been ignored by a friend for days? I have. Why? No clue, I am a pretty nice person if you ask most people...I understand people have busy lives, but it takes 2 seconds to type out a text on your phone, "Yo im real busy, catch up with you soon"...especially if you have received several texts from this person. Ah im talking all in code and shit. I guess it bothers me cause im flippin head over heels for this man and he can't even stop for 2 seconds in his day to hit me up. We're friends...ya right. Move on Alaina. Right? I spend way too much energy caring about and supporting someone who clearly I am not that important to. Abria says friendship is supposed to be equal. That you should get out of it as much as you put in.... True story. I guess our friendship was made up in my head, cause I thought I needed him in my life. Guess I need to re-evaluate. (He did say sorry, but how much does that really mean?)

Its snowing out.

Thats my hood right thurr yo

Not just dreams...the craziest dreams ever

2008-11-18T23:48:00.004-05:00

Ever since I was about 12 years old I have the most vivid and outrageous dreams. And I remember them. Not always, but 90% of the time I'd say. Some mornings I will wake up and re-call 3 dreams from the same night. Re-occuring themes like not being able to open my eyes (like you've taken too big of a hit) and these last few months the re-occuring dream has been that Ive forgotten about a course I am enrolled in, haven't opened the text book or done an assignment...not too hard to interpret! But the dream I had a week ago, that still has me shook: (warning: graphic) I dreamt I was at a doctor's office and fell asleep in the doctor's chair. When I woke up the doctor was alseep beside me. I felt like I had been raped while I was sleeping. I realized inside my legs were wet and I...woke up. Seriously, what the fuck? Ive started writing down my dreams in a journal as soon as I wake up so I don't forget them. But now I will keep track of them through this. No one ever finds them as interesting as I do. But come on, Who dreams that shit. I should be on a show, like Medium...
Oh, I want to have my own reality show, and seriously believe I should be on tv because my life is so random, hilarious and drama...i mean, interesting event filled. So I make reference to this fact all the time.
Night Night

Can you get to the past if your future is present?

2008-11-18T23:30:00.004-05:00

This is a quote stolen from Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City...is it too cliche to start off my blog with references to SATC? Oh well, Im a girly girl I can't deny it. See thats the way I am all the time in life, honest about who I am and what I feel...so honest about what I feel that sometimes I completely lose it on strangers on the subway, because some people are THAT rude...But anyways, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and Im an open book!

But I sit here and seriously wonder when I started living out this quote. How do I ever expect to move on, find love and be content in a relationship if I cannot let go of my past?

I realized this as I typed a message out in my Facebook inbox to a man, who completely broke my heart about 4 and a half years ago and bearly anyone knows of it, that I would visit him in Ottawa soon. I still have a friendship with this man. Maybe I should have cut him out... Hell if I know, I forgive... I move on, but they always keep a piece of me...Otown, DJ, Michigan, Jay, Im in contact with all of them still. What do I get out of it? I let people get involved in my life pretty deeply because thats just how I am, jumpin two feet in. But then, its hard to ever fully distance myself, even though I move, I date others, I grind hard in school for my degree...they're still a part of my consiousness.

This is all well and fine, except Im tired of it all. I wanna move forwards in leaps, and leave anyone holding me down behind. Because I know, there has gotta be something more for me!